An Official Announcement

I am officially announcing my retirement from being nice to people I do not know. Specifically, I will no longer hold doors for strangers or allow unfamiliar cars to get in front of me in traffic. Why, you ask? Because no one EVER says thank you. I mean how hard is this?

When I take an extra 5 seconds out of my life to hold a door for someone, you would think they could at least say, "thanks." But nooooooooo.

When someone is trying to change lanes and they can't get over...and I am nice enough let them in, you would think they could at least give a wave of thanks? But nooooooooo.

The situation has only become worse during the holidays. In fact the other day I let a door close in some lady's face because she wasn't nice. I was walking through a set of double doors into a store. At the first set of doors I held a door open for a woman that was approaching behind me. She didn't acknowledge my effort so at the next door I just opened it wide enough for me to walk through and let it close on her. Did I feel bad about this? Nope...not at all.

I wish everyone could just be friendly and appreciative...but obviously they can't, so I am forced to announce my retirement. Merry Christmas.


All i wanna do is to thank you
Even though i dont know who you are
You let me change lanes
While i was driving in my car
-Geggy Tah

Blade: Trinity (Movie Review)

Wesley Snipes returns as Blade, the vampire killer extraordinaire. But this time he is not alone. He is joined by “The Nightstalkers”, another group of vampire hunters comprised of Abigail (Jessica Biel) and Hannibal (Ryan Reynolds).

This time around, Blade and company take on the ultimate vampire…Dracula. But this is not the typical Transylvanian with a cape, that occasionally moonlights as a bat. Oh no, this Dracula dude is seemingly indestructible. He is the original vampire…born perfect and now he is hunting Blade. Dracula has a human form, but he also has a “monster” side that very closely resembles “The Predator” from the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie of the same name. The plot is pretty obvious…Blade and his friends kick ass. Then something bad happens…requiring even more ass kicking. And honestly, it works. It is an extremely fun movie to watch.

Jessica Biel, the hottest vampire slayer in town (yes, even hotter than Buffy…maybe) has come a long way from Seventh Heaven. Few things in movies are more entertaining than watching girls kick ass. Ryan Reynolds, better known as Van Wilder, is very funny in this film…sometimes too funny. Everything he says is hilarious, but occasionally the humor goes overboard and you find yourself longing for a return to the action. But the real star of this movie is Snipes. He once again pulls off the Blade character with a good mixture of toughness and subtle humor.

Blade: Trinity is at least the second best in the series…maybe the best. The superb fight scenes along with the occasional inputs of humor make this a highly enjoyable movie going experience. Check it out.

Frosty Who?

I got so annoyed this past week with CBS's constant promotion of Frosty the Snowman. It wasn't so much what they were promoting, as it was how they were promoting it. The commercials repeatedly stated, "tune in (tonight, later this week, etc.) for everyone's favorite snowman...Frosty!" Hold on a second...everyone's favorite snowman? When was that election held? He's certainly not my favorite snowman. Just because he is the only snowman that officially has a name doesn't mean that he is universally liked. I mean...I can think of at least 20 snowmen that I built between the ages of 4 and 12 that I like infinitely more than this Frosty guy.

In fact, my favorite part of the whole show is when Frosty melts. What kind of snowman gets all cocky and starts gallivanting around town (with a stolen broomstick in his hand)? With an attitude like that he deserved to melt. He should have just stayed in the snow where he belonged. But you just can't tell that guy anything...he doesn't want to listen. His name says it all...Frosty: [adj] devoid of warmth and cordiality; expressive of unfriendliness or disdain; "a frigid greeting"; "got a frosty reception"; And what kind of role model is Frosty for the children of the world? He "led them down the streets of town"...not exactly a safe activity. Worst of all Frosty is a smoker. Do we really want kids inhaling second hand smoke from the corncob pipe of some reckless snowman? I think not.

I did not elect Frosty as my favorite snowman. He is not my snowman. We need to find a new snowman to represent the common good. But until that time comes...I am moving to Canada! Who is with me?

After the Sunset (Movie Review)

Stars: Salma Hayek
Director: guy who tells Salma Hayek what to do
Plot: Salma Hayek does stuff
Musical Score: soundtrack for Salma Hayek to move around to

Okay, there are a few other aspects to “After the Sunset” other than Salma Hayek. The movie also stars Pierce Brosnan (who unfortunately recently announced that he will no longer play James Bond), Woody Harrelson and the always entertaining Don Cheadle. Hayek and Brosnan portray jewel thieves that have supposedly retired and moved to the Bahamas. Harrelson is the F.B.I. agent that has been pursuing them for years, with no success.

A cruise ship carrying the last remaining “Napoleon” diamond (Hayek and Brosnan have already stolen the other two), is headed to the Bahamas. So, of course Harrelson suspects that the two have not really retired, but simply relocated to the Bahamas in order to swipe the remaining diamond. Now he trails them to the Caribbean in hopes of finally apprehending them and bringing them to justice. The majority of the film consists of the thieving duo and the F.B.I. agent trying to one-up each other…the bandits proving that they are untouchable, while the agent attempts to show that he is always watching. The scenes with Brosnan and Harrelson interacting are particularly funny. Hayek’s main responsibility is to wear as few clothes as possible, while trying to convince Brosnan to stay retired and not steal the diamond. There are quite a few scenes in which the camera stays focused on Salma’s butt for long periods of time…and I appreciate it. In fact, I believe that “After the Sunset” should be nominated for an Academy Award for Best Cinematography.

“After the Sunset” is not the best movie ever made and the plot is occasionally unbelievable. But, it is a very fun and entertaining “heist” film. Although, there was a very disturbing five minute period in which Pierce Brosnan appeared to be taken over by the spirit of Hugh Grant (the reigning King of the chick-flicks). However, Bond…I mean Brosnan quickly returned, and all was right with the world again. “After the Sunset” is one of those movies that takes you away for a couple of hours and helps you escape from your everyday life. I highly recommend you check it out.

A Fast Food Christmas Story

Ok, so today I'm standing in line at KFC minding my own business. I happen to notice an older man (a customer) standing by the trash can, about 10 feet away from me. But this is no ordinary man...he's insane. You see...he has a long greyish white beard and is wearing a Santa hat. Not too crazy you say? Well, about 30 seconds after I arrive a couple of people squeeze past this guy to leave the restaurant. Well, as they walk by I all of a sudden hear his deep, loud voice say, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merrrrry Christmas!" I mean...what is going on here? Stupid ol' me thought Santa Claus was at the North Pole...or the mall. Nope...apparently he hangs out at KFC. Hey kids...forget the milk and cookies...all Santa wants is a bucket of Original Recipe chicken. For all I know Colonel Sanders and Santa Claus are the same person. They both have white hair, a beard and glasses. Hmmmmmmm.

Anyway, my point...and I do have one... is that just because you have a white beard and a Santa hat, it doesn't mean you have the right to go around bellowing out "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!" I mean...can every fat, black guy wearing a red shirt walk around saying "Hey Hey Hey...its Fat Albert!?"

There is more to Santa than just a beard and a hat. The rest of the KFC guy's outfit consisted of jeans, tennis shoes and a flannel shirt. Not exactly the wardrobe of choice for someone piloting a sleigh guided by flying reindeer. I don't think it would have bothered me nearly as much if the guy had said, "Ha, ha, ha...Merry Christmas" or "Ho! Ho! Ho! Have a nice day." It's the fact that he combined the Ho Ho Ho's and the Merry Christmas. By the way...isn't it way too early to be wishing people a Merry Christmas? I mean it's still 24 days away! Can I wish people a Happy Thanksgiving on November 1st? How about a Happy Fourth of July on June 9th? I think people should have to wait until at least 2 weeks before Christmas to start wishing that it's merry.

Anyway, I just needed to get that out. I feel much better. But if I walk into Taco Bell tomorrow and see the Easter Bunny planning his annual Easter Burrito hunt...I'll be back.