Frosty Who?

I got so annoyed this past week with CBS's constant promotion of Frosty the Snowman. It wasn't so much what they were promoting, as it was how they were promoting it. The commercials repeatedly stated, "tune in (tonight, later this week, etc.) for everyone's favorite snowman...Frosty!" Hold on a second...everyone's favorite snowman? When was that election held? He's certainly not my favorite snowman. Just because he is the only snowman that officially has a name doesn't mean that he is universally liked. I mean...I can think of at least 20 snowmen that I built between the ages of 4 and 12 that I like infinitely more than this Frosty guy.

In fact, my favorite part of the whole show is when Frosty melts. What kind of snowman gets all cocky and starts gallivanting around town (with a stolen broomstick in his hand)? With an attitude like that he deserved to melt. He should have just stayed in the snow where he belonged. But you just can't tell that guy anything...he doesn't want to listen. His name says it all...Frosty: [adj] devoid of warmth and cordiality; expressive of unfriendliness or disdain; "a frigid greeting"; "got a frosty reception"; And what kind of role model is Frosty for the children of the world? He "led them down the streets of town"...not exactly a safe activity. Worst of all Frosty is a smoker. Do we really want kids inhaling second hand smoke from the corncob pipe of some reckless snowman? I think not.

I did not elect Frosty as my favorite snowman. He is not my snowman. We need to find a new snowman to represent the common good. But until that time comes...I am moving to Canada! Who is with me?