Batman - The Song

A couple of years ago the band Five for Fighting had a big, hit song called Superman (It’s Not Easy). I’m sure that you heard it…a lot. Anyway, it talks about how difficult life is for Superman, the so-called “Man of Steel.” The song is written from Superman’s perspective. It has such memorable lines as “I can’t stand to fly”, “wish that I could cry” and “it’s not easy to be me.” Well quite frankly all this makes Superman seem like a big, fat, whiny baby. I mean does that “S” on your chest stand for “Super” or for “Sissy?” Poor ol’ Superman…yes, he is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and pretty much generally indestructible…but gosh darn it his life is soooo hard.

Boo freakin’ hoo.

So I decided to write my own song. It is about Batman…a guy that doesn’t have super powers or super strength, yet fights for the world…without question or complaint. Here is Batman’s perspective on what it takes to be a super hero…sing it to the music of Five for Fighting’s Superman:

Driving home last Friday night
With memories in my backseat
My wheels, my resolve, my purpose
Firmly grounded with my feet

A direction I’ve chosen
A choice I’ve made
A duty to protect
A promise that will not fade

I am a man
That wants to succeed
In helping every soul
That comes in need
Wherever they are
Whatever their fright
I will be there to help
I am the Dark Knight

Some may wonder
And ask how can this be
How can I survive
With so many dependent on me

Like a doctor, always on call
I will catch them when they fall
I won’t runaway and try to hide
I use the power that lies inside
I’m only a man with the power to care
When they’re in trouble, I’ll always be there

I am a man
That wants to succeed
In helping every soul
That comes in need
Wherever they are
Whatever their fright
I will be there to help
I am the Dark Knight

My Top 4 Worst Movies of 2005

In 2005 I saw quite a few movies that were anything but great (Mr. and Mrs. Smith, The Bad News Bears and The Amityville Horror). But the four movies I am about to discuss were downright horrible. They are listed in descending order...as in going downhill...the #1 movie is my choice for the worst movie of the year.

4. Wolf Creek
I love horror movies...at least I used to, until I saw this movie. It is by far one of the slowest, most boring horror movies ever made. For the first 30 minutes I really thought I might be watching the video of someone's vacation in Australia, not a "scary" movie. It is that bad...trust me.
See my complete review here.

3. The Ring 2
To steal a famous phrase used by David Spade, "I liked this movie the first time I saw it...when it was called The Ring." It really is almost a carbon copy of the original movie...with one exception...the first film was good. Oh well, at least Naomi Watts is in it.

2. Elektra
I cannot possibly express how disappointed I was with this movie. I had such high hopes, but who wouldn't, with hot Jennifer Garner (she didn't look so good), Daredevil (he wasn't in it), a great story (it sucked) and loads of butt-kickin' action (there was next to none)...it had to be good...right?
Wrong.
See my complete review here

1. Rumor Has It
I won't spend much time dwelling on this...my full review did plenty of that. But I do want to say that it is the ONLY movie I saw in 2005 that made me feel like I had lost 2 hours of my life that I can never, ever get back. It also has the distinction of being the ONLY movie I considered walking out of. Not only is it easily the worst movie I saw in 2005, I'm confident in saying it is the worst movie I have seen this century.