The Incredibles (Movie Review)

The latest offering from Pixar/Disney continues their streak of films that are entertaining for people of all ages. The Incredibles is not in the same league with the Toy Story movies (what is?), but it still makes for a fun day at the local movie joint.

The Incredibles are a family with "special powers." Mr. Incredible (the dad) and Helen a.k.a Elastigirl (the mom) used to be superheroes back in the day, before a series of lawsuits brought about the outlawing of super heroics. So now, poor Mr. and Helen are forced to drag themselves through long, boring days like the rest of us...ahem, I mean the rest of you...that do not have super powers. Mr. grows to be frustrated and distracted (not to mention...fat) by all of this inactivity. He longs for those days of yesteryear, when he was an idol and hero to the world. He hangs out with his buddy Frozone, voiced by Samuel L. Jackson, as they spend their nights talking about the good ol' days while listening to the police scanner for any chance to secretly help people in need. One day, an opportunity arises that Mr. just can't refuse...the possibility of being incredible once again.

And kids, that is where our adventure truly begins. You see...Mr. "not so" Incredible goes and gets himself into some trouble and needs to be rescued by the wife and kids. So Helen (with super stretching abilities), daughter Violet (she can turn invisible and has a force field) and son Dash (you guessed it...he runs REALLY fast) set off to save poor ol' Pa from the villains of the world. I will not ruin the remainder of the story, but rest assured, there is plenty of action, adventure and humor to keep you thoroughly entertained. If you like animated movies, I definitely recommend you check this one out.

On a final note I have a couple of additional observations: 1) Helen/Elastigirl is played by Holly Hunter who has one of the all-time most annoying voices. I'm not sure who thought using her was a good idea...because it wasn't. 2) Frozone, as voiced by Mace Windu, is freakin' hilarious. In fact, he deserves his own movie.

Saw (Movie Review)

Saw is an interesting and quite entertaining horror flick...if you can get past all of the bad acting. The movie stars Cary Elwes and Leigh Whannell (who?) as two guys that awaken to find themselves chained up on opposite sides of a basement. They have no idea of how they got there, let alone who put them is this situation. Lying in the middle of the room is a dead man holding a gun. Dr. Gordon, played by Elwes, has an audio cassette that informs him that he must kill Adam (played by Whannell) within eight hours or both of them will be killed, as will Dr. Gordon's wife and daughter.

I do not want to give away too much, but over the course of the film we learn that the murderer is known as the "Jigsaw" killer. Danny Glover (apparently Lethal Weapon 5 is not ready) plays the cop investigating Jigsaw. We learn plenty about Jigsaw's style through a series of flashbacks that show his previous murders. All of his killings revolve around choices. The victims can save themselves IF they are willing to sacrifice a variety of things. The potential victims in the basement are no different. Do not forget the title of the movie. The victims are chained up by their ankles, they need to escape, they have access to an old rusty saw...you do the math.

There are plenty of twists and turns throughout the film to keep you interested. Everyone is a suspect and I guarantee you will be surprised at who is actually the killer. The only problem with the movie is the horrible acting, particularly by Elwes. It is so bad that at some points it is distracting. There is a scene that contains what is supposed to be a very dramatic moment. However, Elwes botches it so badly that the entire audience broke out in laughter...not quite what the director was looking for, I'm sure.

Despite the acting flaws I think this movie is definitely worth checking out. I'm not surprised by much in movies anymore but this film contained a few things that I wasn't expecting. And if you are trying to decide between Saw and The Grudge...choose Saw...you will be glad you did.

I'm So Funny

From a conversation the other day:
(some of the names have been changed to protect the guilty)

Barry: Do you know anything about GMU?
Dave: Not really, but Tiffany went to GMU and was a history major.
Jenna: I love history.
Barry: I hate history. There's just too much information.
Brian: That's why they call it "history." If there wasn't much information they would just call it "yesterday."

The Grudge (Movie Review)

Sarah Michelle Gellar (from this point forward she shall be referred to as “Buffy”) stars in this remake of a Japanese horror film. The Grudge refers to a curse that takes place whenever a person dies in the middle of a powerful rage. It takes quite a while to figure out who exactly died in this ultimate rage…but lets face it…it doesn’t really matter. All that matters is Buffy. Just kidding (kinda)…this movie basically boils down to a good old fashioned haunted house. Things aren’t always what they seem, people jump out at you, there is lots of screaming and of course the lights are always out. The only thing missing is an old portrait with moving eyeballs.

The plot doesn’t make a lot of sense, but once again, who cares? It is a fun movie that is decently scary (now that is a ringing endorsement) and has the distinction of featuring the creepiest little Asian boy in movie history. I’m not kidding; this kid is by far the scariest thing in the entire movie. He is everywhere, around every corner, in every building… he meows like a cat (getting its tail stepped on) and oh by the way, he likes to kill people. Good thing Buffy knows how to kick some little Asian boy ass!

Check out this movie, it’s not the best horror movie ever made, but it’s also not a bad way to spend an hour and a half. Did I mention that Buffy is in it?

Attention Dumbasses

I am so tired of hearing/seeing people complain about how the election is "rigged" or that there is some "conspiracy" out there. All of this comes because some people are pissed that the lines are long or they just can't figure out how to vote. Men and women of America, if you cannot figure out how to cast your ballot, it is a sign...a sign that you were not meant to vote...a sign that you are a total nimrod.

I mean how hard is this? How hard is it to slide a piece of paper into a slot? How hard is it to punch a hole? How hard is it to punch the hole directly across from the candidate of your choice? Apparently it is VERY hard...if you listen to some of these boneheads. How do some of these people make it through life? (I know Ryan...some of them don't) It must be a freakin' miracle that they can feed themselves and find their way to work each day.

But as usual, it is much easier to blame everyone else for their stupidity. Attention: stop blaming Bush for the "conspiracy" and stop blaming Kerry for the "rigging." The true mastermind behind this "Great Conspiracy" is God...because He is the one that made you a complete and total dumbass.