A Fast Food Christmas Story

Ok, so today I'm standing in line at KFC minding my own business. I happen to notice an older man (a customer) standing by the trash can, about 10 feet away from me. But this is no ordinary man...he's insane. You see...he has a long greyish white beard and is wearing a Santa hat. Not too crazy you say? Well, about 30 seconds after I arrive a couple of people squeeze past this guy to leave the restaurant. Well, as they walk by I all of a sudden hear his deep, loud voice say, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merrrrry Christmas!" I mean...what is going on here? Stupid ol' me thought Santa Claus was at the North Pole...or the mall. Nope...apparently he hangs out at KFC. Hey kids...forget the milk and cookies...all Santa wants is a bucket of Original Recipe chicken. For all I know Colonel Sanders and Santa Claus are the same person. They both have white hair, a beard and glasses. Hmmmmmmm.

Anyway, my point...and I do have one... is that just because you have a white beard and a Santa hat, it doesn't mean you have the right to go around bellowing out "Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!" I mean...can every fat, black guy wearing a red shirt walk around saying "Hey Hey Hey...its Fat Albert!?"

There is more to Santa than just a beard and a hat. The rest of the KFC guy's outfit consisted of jeans, tennis shoes and a flannel shirt. Not exactly the wardrobe of choice for someone piloting a sleigh guided by flying reindeer. I don't think it would have bothered me nearly as much if the guy had said, "Ha, ha, ha...Merry Christmas" or "Ho! Ho! Ho! Have a nice day." It's the fact that he combined the Ho Ho Ho's and the Merry Christmas. By the way...isn't it way too early to be wishing people a Merry Christmas? I mean it's still 24 days away! Can I wish people a Happy Thanksgiving on November 1st? How about a Happy Fourth of July on June 9th? I think people should have to wait until at least 2 weeks before Christmas to start wishing that it's merry.

Anyway, I just needed to get that out. I feel much better. But if I walk into Taco Bell tomorrow and see the Easter Bunny planning his annual Easter Burrito hunt...I'll be back.