Jesus Is A Stockbroker?

Today I received an email from Jesus...yes Jesus. There it was, plain as day underneath the Sender heading in my Inbox…very simply… “Jesus”. Of course I was quite curious…what does Jesus want? Did he have something very important to tell me about The Bible? Perhaps he wanted to share a favorite little parable with me? Then I began to think…I haven’t gone to church lately and my prayers have been a little irregular…but am I so hard to reach that Jesus had to resort to email? I mean what’s next…a follow-up phone call? I began to worry that Jesus may be a little mad at me…and nobody wants that.

So I opened the email to see what important message Jesus was trying to get to me. With anxious anticipation I looked at the Subject line and saw…”Timing is everything when buying stocks”.

I mean…what???

All my concerns and worries were about…stock tips? What is going on here? Have parables and miracles been replaced with mutual funds and dividend reinvestment? Who are the Disciples…Charles Schwab and Merrill Lynch? I can see the bumper sticker now, “My Father Is A Jewish Stockbroker”.

Relax…I am just kidding…I don’t really think that Jesus is a stockbroker. But I DO think that Norton AntiSpam is the devil. Hey, I don’t like to point fingers but I’m not the one that labeled an email from “Jesus” as SPAM.