The Last Supper

Today as I was driving I started wondering "if I was on Death Row what would I pick as my final meal?" It's a tough decision. My first inclination would be to have a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But I would want to make them myself...and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't give me a knife to make them. There are just so many things that go into making this final decision.

First of all you need to decide what your major point of focus is. Are you trying to pick the best final meal possible? OR Are you trying to pick the meal that is best suited for concealing a weapon or tool that can be used for escape? Assuming you're trying to escape..and you really should be trying to...I mean what do you have to lose? I'd much rather get shot while jumping over a wall than die in the electric chair. But anyway...as I was saying...if you are trying to escape you have to pick a meal that can easily hide a weapon/tool. Maybe a Chicago deep dish pizza (hollowed out for our purposes) or a Happy Meal from McDonalds. A Happy Meal isn't complete without the "toy." They will never suspect that your new pink My Little Pony action figure can be easily converted into your ticket to freedom.

However, if you are just looking to have a delicious final meal, I think you have to order something from a restuarant. You need to receive a dependable product. If you just place a generic "BBQ chicken with macaroni and cheese and fries" order, you are just going to get a bunch of slop from the prison cafeteria. And come on...do you really want to be getting your head shaved and taking that final walk with a bad taste in your mouth? I think not. I would want my final few hours spent relishing the fact that "Yes!! I finally ate one of everything on the Taco Bell menu!!."

But perhaps the best strategy of all is to ask your guards what they would like to eat. Tell them that you value their friendship and that you would like to eat your final meal with them. The first ever Death Row Pizza Party. Maybe you will have a connection on the outside that can drug all the pepperoni pizza while you sit in the corner safely consuming your cheese pizza. After they collapse, you make a run for it and drive safely away in your Dominos Pizza delivery (getaway) truck.

What? It might work.