Where have you gone Harrison Ford?

The Star Wars Trilogy is being released on DVD this week and has been getting quite a bit of publicity. Some of the press has included interviews with several of the stars, including a Mr. Harrison Ford. Watching interviews with him has reminded me of how disappointed I am in what has become of him.

When I was a kid he was the guy that every boy wanted to be. He was Han Solo and Indiana Jones...which made him more god-like than any other person on the planet. As time went on, he was still the biggest hero in movies as he starred in such films as Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger, The Fugitive and Air Force One. If Harrison Ford was in a movie you knew it was going to be great. But then a not so funny thing happened...he started making movies that really sucked.

His downfall officially started with a movie called "Random Hearts." I will go on record to say that it may be one of the worst/most pointless movies of all time. Still, I was willing to give him another chance...I mean he is (was) Harrison Ford. But then the bottom completely dropped out. He made forgettable movies such as K-19 and Hollywood Homicide. Then to top it off...at age 60, he got his ear pierced and became a complete joke. Perhaps he should take lessons from Clint Eastwood, or even Sean Connery, who is bald and in his 70s, yet still manages to pull off being cool and heroic.

What happened Harrison? What happened? Its not too late...put away the earring, stop making goofy comedies and love stories...make another Indiana Jones movie. We know (hope) you have it in you. Be the guy we all worshiped not the guy we point at and laugh.

I decided to write a song about Harrison Ford. You should sing it to yourself (preferably really loud) using the music from Simon & Garfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson."

Here’s to you Mr. Harrison
Yoda loves you more than you will know (whoa, woa, woa)
God will you please Mr. Harrison
Stop making movies that are really gay (hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

I don’t know what happened
You used to be so cool
But now with that fruity earring
You look like such a fool

Here’s to you Mr. Harrison
Yoda loves you more than you will know (whoa, woa, woa)
God will you please Mr. Harrison
Stop making movies that are really gay (hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

You were the adventurer Indiana Jones
Whose next movie could not come too soon
A hero to all of us and for all times
But now your career is a Temple of Doom

Coo, coo, ca-choo Mr. Harrison
Yoda loves you more than you will know (whoa, woa, woa)
God will you please Mr. Harrison
Stop making movies that are really gay (hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)

As a Fugitive we prayed for you to save the day
The one-armed man didn’t do it
You are the one that screwed it
All up and threw your career away (hey, hey, hey)

Where have you gone, Han Solo
A galaxy turns its lonely eyes to you (woo, woo, woo)
What’s that you say, Mr. Harrison
The scoundrel has packed up his wookie and gone away (hey, hey, hey…hey, hey, hey)